Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Revisions

I reread my paper and found a lot of awkward sentences and grammatical errors, so I fixed all those.  Then I added transitions in between each perspective because my peer comments mentioned that and after rereading my paper I noticed it didn't flow very well from point to point.  I feel like the strongest element of my paper is where I describe the different perspectives on captive breeding because I'm very thorough and used my research to support the ideas I present.  I am most concerned about my introduction.  I feel like I don't have a main thesis just because my ideas were too large to fit all in one succinct sentence.

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